Sunday, 23 July 2017

I’ve been away for a while...

I’ve been away for a while. I’ve not been blogging. Though I have been writing. Lots and lots.
I’ve been working towards a degree in Creative and Professional Writing.
And on the 11th of July 2017, I graduated with a First Class Honours.

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I never even thought I’d make it to university. In high school, I found it hard enough to “just take each day at a time”, let alone think about the future. Then, when the time came for everyone to apply to universities, I put it off. 
All of my peers seemed to know what they were doing, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to do anything. Don’t get me wrong – I didn’t want to spend a single second longer in high school – but I didn’t want to grow up, either.
I was terrified at the thought of having to start somewhere new, in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar faces. I felt depressed thinking about potentially spending another three-plus years in education.
But I also realised that I had no idea what I was doing or where I was going. I knew I had to do something. And so, eventually, I bit the bullet and applied. 

Discovering a course that sounded so appealing made me feel a little better. All I had to worry about for the time being was getting the required grades. Then, if I was successful, I could start worrying about what uni would be like.
But when my A-Levels rolled around, I lost a close family member, and it felt like my world had been flipped upside-down. 
After that, it was all a bit of a hectic, surreal blur. I really wasn’t sure that I’d manage. But I did. (Well, just about!) I got the grades that I needed, and was accepted into university. And I’m so glad I was, because these last three years have been so special to me.

I’m so happy that I pushed myself to go – and even happier that I stuck it out until the end! Over the last few years, I've learned that, sometimes, what seems impossible actually isn't – whether that be succeeding at exams, going to university, or getting a first class degree (another thing I never thought I could do!). Yes, it was scary at first, and sure, it was pretty bloody stressful at times, but it was 100% worth it.
Of course I’m grateful for the education I got at uni, but I’m also grateful for the people I met, the lessons I learned, and all of the times I pushed myself out of my comfort zone. To me, that's just as valuable as a degree.
And no, I don't know where I'm going next – and I'll admit, that feels pretty scary... but it also feels a little exciting. One chapter is coming to an end, and now it's up to me to write a new one.

I hope I write it well.


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